sad

我不懂我又错了什么，你总是喜欢用这种方式伤害我。很想哭

等了又等

除了等，还是等。我等你离开，等你学会怎样爱我，等我忘记不开心的事，等快乐重来，等毕业，等待一个真正开心的日子的到来。除了等，我还能怎样？死？算吧

Tears

Today I break my record..... memorable day? Cried for an hour non stop for u ...... Really like an idiot..... I am a male.....zzzzzzzzzzzz

What can I do? Nothing!

Once again, you choose what you want and ignored me. Job -1st, Lover- 2nd.  The situation absolutely the same with the incident happened few months ago. I am in second place again. Disappointment + sadness is inevitable. Unless there is a gun pointing to your head, if not I don't believe that anything or anyone can stop your desire to quit. Problem is you don't have such desire at all.  Wonder is it if I putting you too high? Or perceive my self-worth above the value that you think? You have confiscated my hopes, my joy, my happiness...... easy tasks you also cant make it for me...Already many many times.... why keep repeating ......... What I did wrong actually?  what if i want more than this? I not dare.  Just can treat myself is dreaming all the ways. Happy moment really wont be too long, God you are selfish. Seriously, except my family, you are the only meaning for my life. Others things I just treat them as rubbish if someone wants me to compare he or she as to you. I can ignore everyone and everything as long as to make sure you are happy with me. This called true love. But you? Every time I ask a small request from you, you also give me billions of reason to reject me. When you can ignored everything and just focus on me? So hard??? Last semester, while exam I sicked until faint, if not I think i can do better, really less of 0.01point to get the Dean List. Turn to the next semester, same thing happen. This kind of tragedy maybe can even worsen my result. Maybe ... maybe... you already clear about that I wont leave you cause of this... ya..... I wont! However, if one day I feel you really meaningless to me anymore, I can leave you directly. There is always a limit, when I really cant withstand what can do is just let go....... This is not the thing that I want of course but trust me, I can do it if the feel already faded due to so much of this kind of incidents. Tiring me99 as well.

It's the last try in my life

Suddenly I am inspired by this song. It is a cantonese song and I not sure that you all can understand it well? It is talking about human life.....it's good song anyway..

ManHand - Last Order

作曲：KEN（浪）

作詞：MC KIT

专辑：慢行

每個人到最后都係得個死字

主要係睇你整個過程 有無意義

諗真啲 你又會發覺 嘩 咁大件事

后悔莫及竟然係對我哋最大嘅諷刺

咁樣繼續落去無人會理由得你向下沉

為錢任勞任怨幾時先可以抬起頭做人

卑躬屈膝任人駛點解要一世扮傻仔

發奮做人都唔係為咗証明啲乜野俾人睇

（不必要再想那過失 Don't Give Up 會總有辦法）

呢個世界咁大可以盡情發揮

揾番一個位置企硬唔好動搖有排捱

（點解要）假裝幼稚（點可以）若無其事

唔係樂高玩具陪你裝砌童話伊町園

而係游玩在迷宮迷失兜兜轉轉

面對現實卒之都到咗你要死得個一日 諗下計下

先至發覺自己真係無乜點樣 做過啲乜

渾渾噩噩由朝到晚唔上唔落每個星期一至七

有得有失仲爭啲乜

每個人都應該有套屬於自己嘅美滿人生規則

爭啲乜 到咗呢個要你埋單嘅時刻個心又有啲嗡

點解成世啃親都係個啲豬頭骨

係咪就係要咁就過一世

無眼睇清睇楚睇佢睇我睇你哋咁無謂

咁樣過咗咁多年來你哋又唔覺有問題

生存係咁樣嘅大氣候 哼 你話弊唔弊

唔係話你今日有權有勢有景有米富裕人生就等於擁有一切（就可以好巴閉）

而係當你試過跌過痛過到過谷底翻來先會發覺原來自己以前確實係 幾無謂

可知要失去 一切接受太不易 沒法再幸免 不改變 是我太快到終結

假使你可以 再一次感覺太相似 盡快給我解開死結 但這個案會否可再一次

唔好成世都係得把口 一味淨係識得係度埋怨呢個世界有幾醜

到咗呢個時候你又有無認真咁樣諗過到底自己聽日條路 要點走

咁耐以來 都係得個講字你又唔會覺得 唔好意思

原地踏步 仲要一路死守係同一個位置 好易出事

睇怕過多幾年你嘅生活都係一樣 咁無意義 咁就玩完

但係你又接受唔來仲未甘願 如果你有本事都可以走去做先

唔駛講到咁遠你都仲未搞好目前 喂 依家Last Order啦先生

你要加水加酒埋單嘅就依家 趁仲有得揀慢慢諗

未到最后未到打烊認為未係時候埋單 多謝慢行歡迎下次再光臨

可知要失去 一切接受太不易 沒法再幸免 不改變 是我太快到終結

假使你可以 再一次感覺太相似 盡快給我解開死結 但這個案會否可再一次

It's a last try for your life

It's a last try for your life

The 1st day After 0.5 Year

这绝对不是美好的一天。我的梦已碎，心也被梦的碎片割得跟着淌血。为什么天要那么对我？给我一些开心点的日子都不行，我又没做什么作奸犯科的事。真的注定我条命是那么烂的，从来就没幸运过，哪怕是一次。如果可以死的话，我现在真的很想死。对你而言，真的是小事一宗，我不觉得咯。距离本身是问题，是一种很难解决的问题。你不明白想一个人是很痛苦的。距离限制了很多很多东西，将会制造很多很多的麻烦。虽然我不想放弃，但今天真的非常烂！

1/2 YEAR !

                      时间流逝，一转眼，半年已过。半年真的是不长不短，但足以拆散他们或真正的融合他们了。幸运的是，我们还在一起。在这些日子里，真的有喜有悲，不过开心是肯定多过伤心的。从陌生到熟悉，从乖巧到疯狂，这些日子里的一点一滴我都不回忘记的。你的出现让我的世界更有意义，至少让我觉得我生存的意义不止在于工作和金钱.......为了钱而活。至少，可以为你而好好的活下来。我不懂形容你有多好，总之“你是最好的，你知道吗？” 看来很肉麻，其实是 from 《功夫足球》:P  没错，我是用你来做比较过，就算比，你也是排第一那个，不用担心。不过现在也很少去比了，因为半年的时间让我更了解你，觉得根本就没得比。大家都有缺点，真的时时为了你一些缺点我就会发火，真的很对不起。有时只是一时之气啊..........我会改！！我也希望你也能！原因是我从未那么认真过，认真到要立下山盟海誓这种地步，所以会特别敏感，觉得你不够在乎我，不够爱我。半年了，我最希望的一件事就是你能明白爱不是光靠讲就行的，要有一定的付出和适当的行动啊。可能这样说大家会觉得我现实了些？其实并不是。我不是计较，我要的是那种被爱的感觉吧了，我希望可以真实些，更肯定你对我的爱是有达到某种深度的，而不是说爽、吹水。第二期望就是能更加了解你，所以不要隐瞒我，有什么事，大事小事都找我，就算不能帮你解决，至少可以和你一起分担。最后，当然是希望能长长久久，一生一世。不要变心，也不要厌倦，不要放弃好吗？忘了说，我爱你宝贝^^